Thursday, November 10, 2016
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Do you ever wish you could be someone else?
I don't mean "grass-is-greener, she-looks-so-put-together, I-wish-I-had-her-killer-body, her-husband-is-hot-bet-he-vacuums-AND-is-great-in-bed" desire to be someone else. Though that would be cool – to be someone else you're envious of, just for a day or two. You'd either really, really appreciate your own self and life or try to sell your soul to commandeer her body for the rest of your days.
What I mean is, to be someone else to get a different perspective on things. Namely, yourself – but not the yourself you are as someone else – the yourself you were.
I mean, here we all are, to quote Prince (God rest his soul), "to get through this thing called life."
Electric word, life, it means forever and that's a mighty long time ...
Sorry. I digress.
What I'm trying to say is, we are born us. I am born me. You are born you. And it is all we know. We grow up with certain families and beliefs and innate qualities and ways of thinking, and along the way we learn and grow. But pretty early on, I think the root of who we are and what makes us "us" is pretty solidified.
For instance, if I had to think to the furthest back I can remember and recall qualities about me that are still the same today, I could. Sensitive. Moody. Thoughtful. Ambitious. Self-critical. Quirky.
Someone once told me, "You seem so confident – like you have it all together." At the time, nothing could have been further from the truth. I second-guessed everything I did, and looking "put together" was to me an exhausting daily and (what I considered) futile exercise. But somehow, I had bullshitted my way into making her think I was doing even better than OK.
I know a lot of us do this. There's a saying, "Don't judge people by their outside; you know not what's going on their inside." For example, the rude cashier at the checkout. Maybe she's having a really bad day or maybe she's just a bitch. Who knows? The standoffish person at the party. Does she think she's too good for you or is she incredibly shy and self-conscious? The loud, irritating coworker of yours. Is he truly obnoxious or just trying desperately for someone to hear what he has to say – albeit in the wrong way?
That's why I think it would be cool to be able to switch with someone for a period of time. I'd like to live another person's life and to see the world from their perspective. Do they over analyze things like I do? Do they get offended or hurt as easily? Are their standards and expectations of people and of life higher or lower than mine? Are they more patient? Better friends? Do they work harder? How do they interact with their kids? Do they have a good body image? What do they do on the weekends? Do they call up friends or do friends call them? Do they get lonely and if they do, do they reach out to someone? Do they get depressed? And if they do, is it a big deal or do they just brush it off and move on?
I know everyone does things and feels things differently and I don't mean to say that how someone else feels and acts is how I should feel and act. But wouldn't it be interesting just to put your feet in someone else's shoes? I know we're all unique, but I'd be fascinated to see the differences first hand. And yes, a part of me would like to see if some of my qualities are completely unique (read odd) to me, or if they're at least within the "normal" range of feelings, opinions and habits.
That would probably take up at least a day. The other day I get to be someone else and see me as they see me. Again, I'm them, sizing up me – like I'm a stranger. You follow me?
|The problem is, I'm not really sure |
what I think of me.
I think this would be an insightful experiment. In two days, not only would I see firsthand how someone else gets through this thing called life, but I'd also get to see how another person sees me.
I'm sure knowing this information could be a double-edged sword – as much as it might assuage any self-doubt, it could potentially be painful, too – but in my case, I'm pretty sure no one is going to tell me anything negative about me that I don't already know and obsess about. And if I see good things? Well then I saw them for myself, instead of having to try to graciously swallow a compliment from someone who I'm always sure is mistaken or has just made it up. It would be beneficial to be able to see the good in me from another set of eyes – yet my own.
I was told once by someone, "I wish you could see you the way I see you." It was said to me toward the end of our relationship, which I'm sure was due in some part to my inability to see myself at all. All I could manage to say was, "I wish I could, too."
|Somewhat true. How others see you is, |
to some extent, important. You can say
it's not, but you know full well it kinda is.
If you could, would you make the switch? I think I would. Now I don't know if the whole Freaky Friday exercise would be entirely constructive – I'm sure there's some part of it that would be akin to telepathy, and that can be a good or a bad thing. But I'd be willing to risk it; first, to get a glimpse into the inner workings of someone who isn't me. And second, in the hopes that in seeing me as someone else, I could take the bad parts and try to improve on them, and then take even the slightest, unexpected good part and help try to balance the scales of how I see myself. 'Cause in this life, things are much harder than in the after world. In this life, you're on your own.