So, 43 years ago today I came kicking and screaming into this world. And 43 years later, I'm still kickin'... and screamin'.
As I look back on my four decades plus on this planet, and look ahead to the future, I am decidedly and unusually (for me) optimistic.
Here are a few reasons why:
1. I had heard that when you turn 40, something "magical" happens. My mom said her 40's was the best decade of her life. When I first heard this back in my 20's, I thought she was smoking crack. But when I was approaching 40, I found myself looking forward to it. My teens, 20's and 30's were less than stellar, so it couldn't be any worse, right? Right. It's better. True to my mother's wise words, my 40's seem to be the decade where I am finally starting to figure it out. I'm more comfortable with myself and who I am, I'm aware of my faults and do my best to correct and deal with them, and I'm embracing and accepting the talents that I seem to have held at bay for the past few 20 or so years.
2. I may be ready to have an actual "relationship". To quote that incredibly funny comedian, Dane Cook, I've had my fair share of "relation-shits". In the past year, I have met someone who may have some serious potential (insert "wink" here). And though I don't know where it's going to lead, I am willing and surprisingly able to give it a conscious "go".
3. I'm doing what I love. Sure, this blogging thing isn't paying me a dime, but I somehow feel more fulfilled than if I were to win the lottery. And though I started this with the intent of making it a means to an end - that is, showing employers what a great writer I am and yes, they should hire me - in the meantime, it makes me feel alive in ways I can't explain. I have been writing since I was old enough to spell, but have not had the chance to really make a living at it until now. With my attempt at Kennard Communications, I feel I am finally ready - talent-wise, ambition-wise, and connection-wise - to make this dream a reality.
4. I'm parenting at warp speed. I am a single mom with a 12-year old who kicks my ass every day, and an 8-year old not far behind. I was never good with the baby/toddler years, and find I am truly embracing the fact that my kids are now old enough to enjoy some of the things I enjoy, like being outdoors, traveling, and doing stupid stuff around the house, like dancing in the kitchen or guessing the song artist on the radio. It's an exhausting, frustrating and completely exhilarating time to be a parent, and for the first time I feel like I have grown into this mommy role. No, I'm not perfect - faaaaaarrrr from it. It's a roller coaster, that's for sure, but at the end of the day, I am enjoying the ride.
5. I'm truly blessed by my family and friends. My parents aren't getting any younger, and I am very aware of this. I adore my mom and dad. I also realize that parenting NEVER ends, and they continue to rally for me and support me like they did at every sports and extra-curricular function they attended way back when. Through Facebook, I've re-discovered my brother in New York and his amazing children. My younger brother and I, enemies in childhood, are now the best of friends. And speaking of friends, I've never been one to have an army of them, but I am SO thankful for the few that I do have in my life right now. People like Frandy, Amanda, Tracie, Shannon, Mike, Wynton, Mary and Lauri are a few of the reasons I have a smile on my face, an optimistic view on my life, and a reason to wake up in the morning. They are smart, funny, supportive, and I am so happy that they are in my life.
Every New Years Eve for the past few years, I've written myself a letter - a retrospective, if you will, of the past 365 days. The past few years they've been a bit morose - divorce, a stagnant career, and other issues have made that particular year in review a real downer to read. But this year, I somehow feel that is going to be different. I'm peacefully happy, which is a short statement that I haven't been able to say in a long, long time.
So, Happy Birthday to Me! I'm 43! Here's to a great year ahead, and a big thank you to everyone who has helped me get where I am today.