Thursday, March 10, 2011

Shut up and drive

It's been a long couple of weeks and I'm feeling a little frisky. I get this way every now and again... I'm not sure why. Maybe it's when I'm stressed out and trying to pack so much into one day and I find I'm deterred from my plan by silly little obstacles. The one obstacle that's been giving me grief lately is getting from Point A to Point B. It should be simple, right? Allow X amount of minutes to get from here to there. Not so easy.

Being a single, working mom with two boys involved in lots of activities, I'm driving more than the Cash Cab. And there's nothing that burns my soup more than being on my own, carefully-planned and executed schedule only to have some driving-related jackwagon steer me off course. So as I was cursing one of those said obstacles just today, I thought to myself, "Self? I wonder if other people become overly-annoyed with these random acts of denseness?"

For instance:

Today I'm running late for work. Now, if I time it just right and the stars align, I can hit ALL the green lights from Charter Oak Road ALL the way down War Memorial to Prospect. But ONLY if I'm on time. If I'm late like today? Not only is every light red, but I swear it's red for twice as long as usual. Do you know how many lights are between Charter Oak Road and Prospect via War Memorial? 13. I just counted them in my head. Lucky 13. If the average stoplight is, say, one minute, then that's 13 EXTRA minutes I need to get to work on time. Who runs these things? And whoever it is, do they KNOW I'm late for work? Is it a conspiracy to throw me off my game?

Then there's other drivers. The ones that hang out in the left lane and I'm sure at one point will WAKE UP and notice that - HEY! I'M DRIVING!!! Or the idiots that I can see out of the corner of my eye swerving into my lane because they're texting, eating, putting on makeup or doing God knows what else. Ditto to the guy that won't turn left on a flashing yellow arrow or right on a red, Mr. Perpetual Turn Signal Man, and anyone that drives a good 10 miles under the speed limit for no apparent reason. And yes, I'm assuming these are all men, simply because 102.3 DJs Markley and Luciano bashed women drivers on their morning show. Take that, Dudes.

Oh, and finally, potholes. I mean, SERIOUSLY, Peoria Pothole People. Have you been out driving our streets lately? I know, I know, it happens every year, the city is strapped for funds, they'll get to it, blah, blah, blah. In the meantime, I'm doing maneuvers that you see on those commercials that disclaim "Closed course with professional driver. Do not attempt." I'm bobbin', I'm weavin', I'm swervin', I'm turnin'... there's no escaping them. Ever driven up to the CVS on Pear Tree? It's like going through the Outback on a mountain bike. And the Jump Start parking lot is enough to make you slip a disc just riding in your car. Not to mention the asphalt aberration on Northmoor. I love that it now has a sign next to it that says, "Rough road". I don't know why they just don't label it "traffic calming" like those shock-busting humps on Prospect and call it good.

Seriously, I know these complaints are petty, and there may be good reasons why the lights are configured the way they are, why people are driving slowly, and why no one has fixed the pits in the road. And yes, there are greater problems in this world. But like I said, I was feeling feisty and just thought I'd throw it all out there.

Here - if it makes you feel better, I'll leave you with a song. It's about driving. I use it in my workouts because it inspires me. Not to drive faster, but to drive safely. So enjoy, and let's be careful out there.

1 comment:

  1. I totally feel ya!

    Speaking of some awful potholes/road funk... I don't often go to Blockbuster and Hobby Lobby on University, but the parking lots and drives to those stores are truly awful! I can not believe how bad they are...

    Anyway... Spring Fever is here... I think that's why we are all feeling a bit fiesty and frisky...


    PS: The sign outside your house makes me both sad and happy... sad for us, very happy for you. =) I hope it sells fast for your sake.


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