Friday, September 16, 2011

Advice for Parents of Teens and Tweens - What's your take on this?

I'm interested in hearing reactions to the following article that appeared in my inbox several days ago - an excerpt from the book "The Rules of Parenting" by Richard Templar.

Being on the cusp of entering what I am bracing to be some tough parenting years with my teen (if the past few are any indication), I was intrigued by this writer's "advice". I'm not sure I agree with all of it, but I do think he brings up some valid points that may help me from completely alienating myself from my teen (and he from me) in the near future.

Advice for Parents of Teens and Tweens -

My thoughts:
1) I DON'T think I can talk to him like an adult (yet), but agree that I need to start letting him make more decisions and in turn face the consequences, good and bad.
2) I WILL look under the mattress.
3) I NEED to teach him how to do the laundry.
4) I MUST stop bitching about his music, which he proclaims is "his life".
5) I'm NOT ready for Page 5.

I encourage you to read the article link above and share your thoughts, either by name or anonymously. Help a mother out.


  1. Page 5.... LOLOL. The whole reason I didn't have sex as a teenager was because I knew (or I thought I knew) WAY too much about my parents' sex life. I didn't really. But my mom hinted about it enough that I was mortified to even THINK about going farther than 3rd base.

    Did I ever tell you that B asked G to kiss him in the woods one day? They didn't - as far as I know. I have G's password for FB and she wrote him a note saying that she never had before and that was why she said no. Kids amaze me.

    That writer's parenting style seems a bit relaxed and very postmodern in thinking. I don't know if treating kids like individuals with brains before they are truly productive adults is a good thing... but then again, we have parents who reason with their 5 year old when they throw a tantrum in WalMart....

    Parenting. Definitely an adventure!

  2. Interesting article but I don't completely agree with the writer. I DO go through my kids' text messages and rooms once in awhile. I'm not about to stick my head in the sand and pretend they're not doing what I think they are. I want to know and, in case I do find something questionable (i.e. drugs), I want to nip that in the bud right away. I've seen what drugs do to kids. I don't want my kids walking down that path. With that said, they DO NOT know I go through their stuff.

    As for sex, I just had a semi-conversation with my 14 yo about it in the car today. He was embarrassed by it but I wasn't. I'm gearing up for more convos in the very near future as he has a GF now.

    As for the rest...I couldn't agree more. My oldest (now 20 and just moved away from home) got a debit card at age 13. He was responsible for whatever he wanted to buy with his allowance. I'm proud to say he is managing his money quite well now that he's on his own. In fact, he's become rather miserly. Lol!

    The oldest child also started doing laundry on his own at age 15 and now the 14 yo has started as well. Best. Thing. Evah! The 12 yo is asking to learn so she may start soon enough.

    The two youngest kids are currently getting a monthly allowance for school lunches this year. They are responsible for managing that and making cold lunches when they run out. Sadly, they both ran out of money right away but both are doing great at making their own lunches in the morning. I'm proud of their resourcefulness.

    It's tough to let them make their own decisions and not catch them when they fall but they really do learn the best when they fall hard. I guess it will always be our instincts to want to save them from themselves but then they'd never grow up.


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