Thursday, November 29, 2012

Breaking up is hard to do


Look. I don't know how to say this. When I first met you, you intrigued me. I was drawn to you like so many others. You were different - a little faster than anything else I'd ever tried. Everyone I knew swore by you and said you changed their life and made them a better person. I wanted to love you as much as they did - I really did.

You seemed great in the beginning. Oh, you made me work for it and you definitely enjoyed the thrill of the chase. But at times you made me ache, and just plain wore me out. I wouldn't have minded if I could see myself becoming a better person in the process, but I saw no change. I began to be frustrated with our relationship - it seemed like such a one-way street. I started making excuses... avoiding you.  Saying I was too busy or had other plans. It was becoming clear to me that there was only one solution.

Running, I don't think we should see each other anymore.

It's nothing personal. I mean, I obviously had selfish reasons getting into this in the first place. I wanted to do something out of my comfort zone. I wanted a challenge. I wanted to feel accomplished. I wanted to physically become a better person.

Well, I'm definitely out of my comfort zone. And you are indeed a challenge. But it seems that instead of steadily improving, I am caught in this limbo that is somewhere between a 10:30 and 11:30 mile, with the maximum number of miles EVER being 4.2. Really, I should be better than that, at least after nine weeks seeing you at least every other day.

And let's just say you are a little abusive. My knees no longer enjoy walking down the stairs and I can't twist and turn like I used to. This makes me sad. I tried patching myself up with braces and creams and whatnot, but to no avail. You find new ways to hurt me.

And all this talk of becoming a better person? I kept seeing pictures of those you had been with - before and after pictures. They were so big and lumpy when they first met you, and so slim and trim after you worked your magic on them. I wanted to be like them. Unfortunately, I have seen no change in my appearance after nine weeks of loyalty. My ass is not smaller, my legs are not more muscular, and my waist is still nowhere to be found. My app says I'm burning anywhere from 400 to 800 calories per run - and it's not like I'm coming home and stuffing my face. I could never do that to you.

I just don't know what else to say. I thought we had something, running. I really did. But I should have known that I'm not usually drawn to the same things as everyone else, so why should you be any different?

I hate to say we're finished, so maybe we could just say, "see ya around"? Maybe we could still, like, hang out every once in awhile? I think I would like that. I just can't be exclusive with you. It's not fair to all the other activities I'd like to pursue. I guess I'm just not a one-exercise woman.

Thanks for the great times, running, but I think I need to move on. But I will always cherish the memories of you and me, the wind in our hair, the pavement beneath our feet, the sound of our heavy breathing in my ears.

Godspeed, running. I'll never forget you.

1 comment:

  1. I remember once an OB/GYN telling me that impact activities such as jogging in older women can cause our uterus's to drop into our cervix which might necessitate the need for a hysterectomy. Can't remember if I dreamt that or perhaps just embellished it in my mind but just one more reason to say buh-bye to running. Apologize for the t.m.i. ;-)

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