Monday, April 29, 2013

Women’s intuition: Is my sixth sense on the fritz?

I do truly believe in women’s intuition. I believe it is inherently a woman thing, and I believe that for the most part we should trust it. Problem is, as we get older, we (read “I”) seem to have so many other issues that cloud our ability to listen to this internal judgment that we often turn a deaf ear and miss the mark completely.

I’ve had some first-class incidents where my sixth sense – or women’s intuition – whatever you want to call it – has kicked in high gear. A part of me attributes those to “guardian angel moments” – you know – like when you make the last-minute decision to go a different way to work and find out there was a horrific accident on your normal route. Is that necessarily women’s intuition or God at play? I don’t know.

Where relationships are concerned, I’ve often mislabeled my intuition as “red flags.” You know, those little things that kind of hit you like a ton of bricks and make you go “Ewww… uh no.” At first, I was the queen of finding red flags. If you chewed your food with your mouth open, that meant you were obviously raised by wolves and had no business having a relationship that could potentially lead to procreation.  After my divorce, any man who remotely did anything (read “breathing”) like my ex-husband was automatically put on the “watch” list, because obviously THAT hadn’t worked out so I must try to find something COMPLETELY different that will. (Note: I got over that. Sort of. Still workin’ on it.)

As I mellowed with age and wisdom (haha), I learned to relax what I considered these red flags and rely on this gift that God had apparently given me and all women – this intuition thing. While red flags would give me pause, intuition nagged at me like a cranky child with a wet diaper. 

More often than not, I can look back and see where my intuition kicked in and I ignored it until it was too late. Repeatedly making excuses for my behavior or for someone else’s, thinking things like, “It would do me good to change this or that about myself instead of arguing or debating” and “Well, all the other parents let their kids do that, so maybe I’m overreacting” had me backpedaling more than I’d care to admit. I think I was (and still am) lacking confidence in my ability to make the right decisions when my intuition more frequently than not seems to go against the norm.

Parenting is probably the only example where my intuition perhaps goes into overdrive. Maybe it’s because I remember being a teenager; maybe it’s because I’m a control freak, or maybe it’s because I am somehow uncannily (and uncharacteristically)confident that I know my son more than he (or anyone else) thinks I do. 

So far, my intuition has been almost dead on in occasions where others thought (and voiced) opposite assessments. Somehow, when it comes to intuition and parenting, I have this subconscious confidence that allows me to listen to what my insides are telling me instead of poo-pooing them as an overreaction. That isn’t to say that I know what to DO about it – believe me – this parenting intuition gives me many a sleepless nights full of worry. Maybe I feel like my intuition is all I have to hang on to in that area sometimes. 

That’s where I get confused. If I can be so sure of my inner voice when it comes to parenting, why does it seem so whackadoodle in other parts of my life?

Do I give a potential new relationship a chance or cut my losses early and run? Are the celebrity impressions he does charming or a sign of a deep neurosis? Am I worried about my job security because I have cause to be or am I just overreacting and reading too much into things? Do I need to “let go and let God” where my financial worries are concerned or should I try to pick up more freelance to further ensure a solid financial future for myself and my children? I have surface feelings about each of these things – common sense feelings – then that vexatious pit in my stomach that never quite seems to leave. Maybe women’s intuition is one of the leading causes of ulcers in middle age? 

No matter what you call it – women’s intuition, sixth sense, instinct, or just a gut feeling, I’m still learning to fight back the insecurities that keep me from embracing and fine-tuning this powerful tool that may one day cause me to put my head on the pillow and drift off into a peaceful sleep thinking, “Yep - I did the right thing.”

1 comment:

  1. I'm sure this new guy is neurotic AND charming with his celebrity impersonations, but you are charming & neurotic, too, so it sounds like you found someone who "gets" you. I say keep him around a while longer....


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