Why July 2 is the Sweet Spot of Summer

I have decided that tomorrow, Saturday, July 2, is the unofficial best day of summer. 

I'll tell you why, but it may take a minute to get there. Hang with me.

Recently, I came to a personal realization about weekends. The best part of the weekend is, in my opinion, from about 7 pm on Friday until 7 pm on Saturday. 

Why, you ask? Here's my reasoning, based on a regular, 8-5, M-F work schedule.

So at 7 pm on Friday, I have a whole evening plus two days of weekend ahead of me. By 7 pm, I'm doing whatever it is I'm going to do on a Friday night, celebrating the end of a work week in any fashion I see fit. I'm looking forward to Saturday, and not even thinking about Monday. 

On Saturday, I have the promise of a whole day ahead of me - this is the weekend sweet spot. It's not until about 7 pm on Saturday that the weekend vibe starts to wane ever-so-slightly. The next day is Sunday, which means at some point during that day I'll have to start planning for the work week, whether that's doing laundry or grocery shopping or thinking about weeknight dinners or checking my schedule of upcoming meetings and to-dos. It's still a nice day, but by 7 pm that night, the initial thrill of the weekend, my friends, is gone. 

It's the same thing when it comes to summer. June, to me, is like a month of Thursdays. I'm kind of still getting used to the fact that the days are longer and warmer and that I'm able to come out of hibernation and spend more time doing outdoor things rather than sitting around wishing the weather would f*cking warm up already. 

July is the weekend of summer - well, most of it, anyway. July USED to be the weekend, before they moved the start of school up to the middle of August, sometimes earlier. That's a load of crap in my opinion. Kids should have their summer and not start school until after Labor Day. I know there are a zillion reasons why this isn't the way anymore, but there's something about three months of summer that just feels, well, deserved.

Now, July is my absolute favoritest month in the world because both my sons were born in July. Early July means Wimbledon and that means my oldest son's birthday, which was exactly what I was watching in the hospital while waiting to give birth to him. Late July is my younger son's birthday, so it's like a Sunday when you don't have to work on Monday, if that makes sense. 

But I digress. 

July is like being right smack in the middle of the weekend. In July, you're not even thinking about it being cold, or having to go back to school, or Christmas. There's a change in attitude. People are just a little more laid back; a little more casual. We're taking an extra few minutes to have coffee on the patio in the morning, or taking walks at 8:00 at night when it's still light out. We're getting on bikes, hopping into kayaks, jumping in pools and running through sprinklers. July is the sweet, smoky smell of the neighbor's grill, a whiff of freshly-mowed grass and the ever-present scent of sunscreen on your children. It's BLTs with fresh tomatoes from your garden and an inevitable loaf of zucchini bread from a neighbor's too-bountiful harvest. 

But if I'm going to drill down July, there is a sweet spot, in my opinion - and it's July 2. Here's why. 

So if June is Thursdays, July is the weekend, but after July 4, even though it's technically the height of summer, I still feel like I'm on the downside of it. Back-to-school sales start ridiculously early. Most vacations are in July since August is such a transitional month nowadays. We're always looking forward just a little too far once July appears on the calendar. 

July 2 is when summer seems like it will last forever, and grocery stores are yelling at you to buy their hot dogs and hamburgers and watermelon and potato salad and everyone's flying their flags and nobody's tired of going to the pool and even though it's hot we're all not saying the stuff we say in August like, "Boy, I can't wait for fall!" 

We're still infatuated with summer on July 2. Just like we're infatuated with the weekend on Saturday morning. 

So tomorrow, I hope you'll take full advantage of what is, in my opinion, the sweet spot of summer. While we still have a lot of the season left, from here on out it will all go by in the blink of a weekend. 

The Warrior

Have you ever known that one person who seemingly has it all? Great looks, winning smile, hilarious, talented, always positive, tons of friends, awesome husband, adorable kids ..... ugggghhh.

I first admired her from afar. She was that crazy mom who came sprinting up to the elementary school to pick up her kid just as the bell rang - usually wearing spandex workout capris, a tank top with some inspirational workout saying on it and a brightly colored bandana covering her vibrant auburn hair - yes, always the bandana. Her constant smile and laugh was infectious, and when her son ran up to meet her, it was apparent that this was probably the best moment of her whole day.

I was intimidated and envious - and I wished I could be her friend.

I discovered that as a fitness instructor, she was vigilant about having a healthy body - not a skinny body - but a healthy, strong body, and wanted nothing more than to wrangle others into jumping on the exercise bandwagon with her. I saw friends and admirers flood her Facebook page with comments when she announced the next time she'd be teaching, and her after-class selfies dripped with genuine praise for her students for "crushing it" once again.

She chose a vegetarian lifestyle, which may have been somewhat of a point of contention with her husband, who is maybe not quite as health-conscious as she. But in a style that is true to them as a couple, they poked fun at it by creating a hilarious video called, "My Wife's a Vegetarian" - her husband on guitar and both of them on vocals - it's probably out there on YouTube somewhere.

As I got to know her better, I realized that this woman has a HUGE circle of friends - and not just fair-weather friends. Real friends - like from childhood, high school, college ... all over the United States - and they all adore her. She is quick to love them back; in fact, I've never met anyone who is so filled with love for her husband, her children, her family and her friends. Her gift is her love, which is evident for anyone close to her. She will tear up talking about her magnificent husband, her kids who are growing up way too fast, her incredibly supportive parents and her veritable treasure trove of friends.

All that said, somehow, some way, I got this amazing woman to be my friend - and finally realized what all the fuss was about. She DOES have it all. Great looks, winning smile, hilarious, talented, always positive, tons of friends, awesome husband, adorable kids ...

And cancer. She also has cancer.

It was no secret she was a survivor of breast cancer - every year she celebrated her cancerversary - the fifth year being the big one - and she was an avid participant in Race for the Cure - the running part, of course - did I mention she's a runner? Surviving cancer got her into fitness. Surviving cancer caused her to change her eating habits. Surviving cancer made her realize even moreso what was really important. Surviving cancer made her outlook on life such that she considered every single day a gift.

She was told years ago that she was at her one child max. Ten years after her son was born, she went to CVS and bought a six pack of beer and a pregnancy test - and eight months later, a beautiful, free-spirited replica of her came into this world. In my mind, it was because the universe realized that the world needs more people like her - so they made one.

We laughed at the fact that she was "starting over" - having kids 10-plus years apart. We adored the spunkiness of her daughter - "just like her", her mother proclaimed - and the baby pictures prove it. We were envious at how she so quickly reclaimed her post-baby body. True to form, the woman went through pregnancy and those baby years like it was a walk in the park - now, we all know it wasn't, but you know what I mean. She did it all like a warrior.

A warrior.

She did everything like a warrior.

She does everything like a warrior.

The cancer is back, and she's a motherf*cking warrior.

She continued to teach the fitness classes despite the chemotherapy. She lost her hair and dyed it red. She takes bets on how much fluid will be drained from her swollen tummy. Her posts about her progress are blunt and full of her unique humor: "My liver is being an asshole but if I can get it to cooperate I'll be the mayor of healthytown!" She is fighting, reminding me of one of her favorite phrases of recent years - "Nevertheless, she persisted."

Never in my life have I known someone as inspirational, as vigilant, as strong and as superhumanly powerful as this woman I am so incredibly humbled to call my friend. She is the epitome of a true warrior - and as her friend, I am so privileged to be a part of her extensive, worldwide army that has been assembling itself since the day she was born. I have never seen a more supportive, generous, caring "tribe" - as she calls us all - who I honestly think would do ANYTHING for her. I know I would, and I do not have the longevity that most of her friends have with her.

I know at times she feels weak. At times she's so tired. If she only knew that even when she feels tired and weak, she is still stronger than so many of us. I KNOW she knows that when she feels tired and weak, she still has us - her army - her tribe - supporting her, loving her and STILL being inspired by her every single day.

Here's the thing. You cannot have someone like her walking this earth without acknowledging her amazingness - in fact, we should be shouting it from the rooftops. She should be on a poster somewhere with an arrow pointing to her that says, "WE NEED MORE PEOPLE LIKE THIS." There needs to be a "How to be a Warrior" class - and she needs to teach it.

Make no mistake, here - she was a warrior before cancer, but she's in the fight of her life right now, and I think every member of her tribe feels helpless. We can stand by her side with our arrows and swords, but in the end it is the lead warrior who does the most fighting - it is her battle. If forming a circle around her to shelter her from the blows of this disease would keep her safe, we'd do it. If finding some way to defeat this enemy for her was within our powers, we'd have done it yesterday. If there was a way to bottle her strength, spirit and determination and give it out as a cure, we'd do it tomorrow.

We'd do it - for our warrior.

Update: Our Warrior, Amy Poirier Bjornstad, passed peacefully at home surrounded by her loved ones on Tuesday, March 27th, three days after this post was written. Rest now, my love.

Help a warrior; be a warrior. Give to the Jimmy V Foundation and let's get a victory over cancer.

What Will Matter

Today was my mom's funeral. 

I don't have the wherewithal to write anything prolific at this time, but wanted to share the words that she requested be read by a family member today during the Mass. That family member was me, and it was hard to get through it, but I think it's profound enough and important enough to share. 

Hug your families tight tonight. Don't let petty grievances get in the way of your love and loyalty toward each other. In the end, it's your family who will matter, as well what you give of yourself to this world while you're here. This Mom knew.

What Will Matter

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
The things you collected, whether treasures or forgotten, 

will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.

So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away. 
It won’t matter where you came from 

or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant. 

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built,
Not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught. 

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,
But how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone. 

What will matter is not your memories, 

but the memories of those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, 

by whom and for what. 

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.

It’s not a matter of circumstances but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters. 

-Michael Josephson